This all sounds pretty dire. If you were not playing her to get a green card, you would not be there. She may not be all that great at relationships given her age and her being single.

My take is that you are confusing things here a bit. You are worrying about getting sex with a post wall woman you are not really into and who simply is not wanting sex with you much. You are still thinking like she is a girl friend and you want it to work out between you. You have all the SMV advantage and she is the one gaming you by hinting at sex and then denying you and going off to masturbate -presumably what she looked at will be in your history.

You are not really her boyfriend, you are a toy boy or a gigolo and I think it might help you to start thinking that way. This relationship is not about your pleasure, its about her pleasure and your green card. Get that right and you have a small chance of fixing things. Avoid facing that fact and I see only doom for you in this.

I recommend you see yourself as a service provider -fairly similar to a hot slut chasing after a fat old business man. That slut is not going to be sexually satisfied by the old half impotent business man. She is going to be satisfied by his wallet and a wedding ring that means she will not work again. She won't be telling him to sort his act out and get his limp dick going because she can get sex on any street corner. She will be saying "Don't worry big boy we can do it tomorrow, let me massage your back and bring you a glass of wine" She will know she has to lock this guy down and then she can get railed by the local Chad on the sly. The only time she will resort to gaming him by actually reminding him of her SMV will be if after months of making him fall in love and nurturing him and pretending to be proud walking along beside him, she has not given her an engagement ring, then she will turn it on but this tactic gives a great big hit to the mark's confidence and security, its a minus for the actual relationship in order to force a plus result for the grifter. You need to be building this relationship or you will lose all your hard work soon I fear. You do not have enough relationship capital to be forcing your mark. The only way you can make your SMV work for you is silently by looking amazing and talking -but not flirtily- to hot young women. She will see the SMV difference. It will create some dread but you can't make her question your devotion. You don't invite infidelity into your home.

Treat her like a queen in public. Make her feel you are proud of her. In private take care of her. In the bedroom -when she wants it and only when she wants it treat her like a massive slut, enjoy her every way she will let you and pretend you are totally into her. When you are frustrated either push it out of your mind or find a coping mechanism you can use that will not get you caught. She has feel she is your beloved at this stage or she won't be taking misery home with her.

She has the final say here. You have to be what she wants you to be for you to get your green card. Whatever you may say about the validity of your tactics, she is not feeling this right now, so you need to do something different if you want a green card from this woman.