From what you have written, there is a mental health problem here that is not being solved by normal means. I would seek some professional help here. I would keep doing all of the self help things like taking responsibility for your failures, practising good habits and trying to gradually expose yourself to things you find challenging to condition yourself but I would also seek some professional help. It sounds, from what you have written, like you need to escape a conditioned response to freeze up when in a challenging situation.

Finding good help can be very difficult as mental health is a frontier and there are competing theories and gurus out there. I think a good approach might be first to get a thorough diagnosis. You don't want to self diagnose and then seek help from a specialist in that field in case you are missing part of the picture. This may well, for example, be about your parents and how they treated you but not every man would have this strong a reaction to this treatment by his parents. There may be an innate weakness that is a cause of this problem as well as a circumstantial one.

There is rarely one magic bullet and whatever help you get it will in the end also require you to sort things out in practise. Its like a man with a broken leg. The radiographer can diagnose the fracture, the doctors can numb is pain and pin the bone back together, the nurses can set the bone in a cast, the the physio can give him exercises to recover his movement and strength but in the end he will have to do the exercises and walk himself, even if it is painful at first. When you know what you are dealing with, when you have got any medication that might help, do find someone who can give you practical exercises and solutions to build your confidence. Only you can walk the walk when it comes to wining with people. Get strong and motivated enough.

It is worth investing time and money in getting the right people. I would do this as a priority before worrying about where you live. You can run away form people but wherever you go, there you will be, with all your baggage and issues. If money is limited, I would prioritise diagnosis and treatment over change of scenery.

I don't mean disrespect but there is no AskTRP question in this post. It's a massive backstory and in the rules it says this is AskTRP not telltrp

Your post amounts to talking about high stress, shitty situations, and not taking care of yourself

Sounds like you just want a magic answer even though you don't have a question

This question really does not belong in AskTRP because the only solution you have is to get out of these stressors by moving in with sane people, taking care of yourself, avoiding being around all these people stressing you out and finding some way to make money

That's what makes this an inappropriate AskTRP question. Additionally you say you posted here already over the years so it's clear that you don't listen to advice you are given if you're in a worst place than ever

This is not a trp problem this is a mental health issue and you should either take what I answered with or find an appropriate forum for this

Your only two choices are to get away from these stressors or pretend they don't bother you. You're not getting a magical third option from the guys on this forum